You are an utterly unattractive person. You catch glimpses of yourself in mirrors and are appalled by the greasy hair and ill-fitting clothes. It isn’t just about weight, it’s the total neglect of the rest of your appearance. And do you deserve clothes? Can you afford to buy them at the rate you fluctuate in sizes?
People don’t take you seriously when you don’t dress well. People don’t take you seriously when you look unkempt. Their gazes pass over you from the previous person to the next, or their faces show brief, unspoken condemnation. It is the same attitude shown to people who are overweight — how dare they not be beautiful? And how should they demand respect if they can’t achieve that?
You hate the way you look.
You think, I’ll just look ridiculous if I make an effort while still so fat. Better not to bother till I’m thin.
People might mistake it for deliberate unconcern.
